10/1/2-26 As I'm writing this, it seems my life has taken a sharp turn for the worse because my balance has gotten so bad that now I need walking sticks, and I can't go down my stairs to leave the house. My eyesight has gotten so bad that I think I have eye macular degeneration, and I'm going to be blind or need a transplant So I don't know what is going to happen to me, but it doesn't sound good, and I don't want to die and see Sean. You didn't have to do anything to wreck my life because it just happened without you! Because my mom did it on her own by making me keep waiting until it was my turn, and now it might not even happen